Log in

No account? Create an account

Tue, Mar. 4th, 2008, 03:12 pm

My roommate concussed himself on a medical cabinet.

I asked, "are you okay, man?", then laughed for about half an hour.

Thu, Aug. 2nd, 2007, 01:32 pm
I have a new favourite saying

One photo from stupid o'clock on the morning of July 21st...Collapse )

On an unrelated note, I went to see the doctor today for my flu, so naturally he treated me for acne. I had to take "before" pictures when I got home. I caught myself in the mirror, and one single thought entered my mind out of nowhere;

"I look like a sack of boiled ass"

Then I laughed for, like, half an hour. That's possibly one of the most surprising things I've ever thought. Not because I'm not aware that I look completely dog-eared at the moment, quite far from it. Because it's like my brain took all the things it considers most unattractive, chucked them into a marvellously crude sentence and automatically pinned them on a description to my face. In under a second without any effort on my part.

Then I started thinking about what a sack of boiled ass would actually look like, and I need to get over this flu and out of the house, because right now it seems I may never stop laughing.

Tue, Jul. 10th, 2007, 10:21 pm
It's 364 days until christmas

I had the best audition I've done in about three years yesterday. I think I might get to play principal cellist in an orchestra (for charity, but none the less), which has been a long term goal of mine.

Who's the spacktard who went "Achieving goals? That sounds like a top idea!"? I'd like to offer you sir, a smack in the kisser.

Achieving goals is SHIT. I LIKED having my freaking goal! It's very comforting to have an achievable goal, and works very well as a motivator as long as you NEVER EVER ACHIEVE IT. The day after? Cannot possibly be as good as the moment of achieving. I mean, you're super happy straight afterwards, but then, as you are now observing, you get what I refer to as the "happiness hangover". which is a complete mofo.

It only highlights how much more you have to work for the new goals, which are looking pretty insurmountable right about now. You've had your hopes up, and you've done a shitload of work, and you've achieved the goal, and suddenly it's 364 days til christmas, if you know what I mean.

I'm too drunk for this now. Don't get me wrong, achieving goals is better than sitting at home and, say, drinking cheap wine from the bottle. Hypothetically. But life just seems like so much damn WORK.

All this bitching, and I haven't actually achieved my freaking goal, have I? Just waiting for the phone call saying "Congratulations! Based on your audition we've decided you are well suited to serve the orchestra drinks in the interval."


"Yes, sorry we couldn't offer you a pl-"

"Oh thank fuck!"

Sun, Apr. 22nd, 2007, 11:02 pm
xxx call me now


...Stop having fun immediately.

Perhaps not the best marketing technique. Try again, RW.

NEW AND IMPROVED! It's some random fucker on the internet!

Better, RW. Maybe chuck in a free laptop*. Now with free asterisk.

And I've actually managed to GAIN friends without doing anything. I assume you're trying to sell me something, but I don't care. I'll buy it, just DON'T LEAVE ME!

So yes, I'm still talking to myself for entertainment purposes. Also because my unusual odour prevents me from making any coporeal friends. I stopped bathing to impress chicks at parties by pretending to be French, uncleverly forgetting that nobody likes a Frenchy. Please disregard this paragraph, as I am clearly full of fertiliser. And if you don't send it to 563 people in the next second I will personally have relations with your flower garden.

Why do I degrade myself like this?

That is all for today. Substance will be coming to this journal any day now. I figure it works like a vaccum. If there's a negative quantity of substance here, interesting and insightful things will be forced into the gaping space. Can't argue with the laws of physics, can you livejournal? *smug*

BTW: The title? Came up when I clicked the subject box. No idea where it came from, but really, it was too good not to use.

Sat, Apr. 1st, 2006, 10:10 pm
I'm celebrating April Fools by being an immature ass! How original.

Sorry for the long hiatus. Still don't have time for a proper update, but here's hoping this'll amuse until I do. Actually a conversation from a while back. And to anyone with taste who might be reading this, apologies in advance.

Not for the feint of heart or the lover of BlytonCollapse )
Nick says: i know. it shames me to admit it, but we're as corrupt as...
Nick says: as...
Nick says: as...
Nick says: oh i can't find a simile.
RW: That's not good.
RW: Definitely not a good sign.

Sun, Feb. 19th, 2006, 07:29 pm
Here are a few things I know:

If you smash my window in while I'm working, you are an asshat.
If you are my boss, and you tell me that I really should get insurance, and you won't pay me for the damage, you are just as much of an asshat as the guy who smashed the window.

But thanks for the employment, anyway.

Here is a meme, taken from leatharegee


(By the way, insurance isn't an option when it's $900+ and you're a student.)

So anyways, enough of the servo. I've been at uni all this week. If it was legal, I would marry WAAPA and have it's love children. Damn facists. It's biologically possible if I want it to be biologically possible.

I finally know what it's really like to go to a school filled with nothing but performing artists. You hear a lot of stories about these "crazy, binge drinking nutjobs", and I would like to verify that they are all true. I don't think I've laughed so hard in years as I have this week. It's better than anything I imagined. The improvised debate, with the topic "Classical music is for snobs". The shock of my life when someone opened the cage door of the musical theatre kids, and they were screaming for what must have been half an hour. The endless concerts! I'm in heaven!

Actually, I've been half afraid that someone is going to tap me on the shoulder and tell me that they were only kidding when they said I could come, and could I please take my air of boganity out the door with me?

On a somber note:Collapse )

Fri, Feb. 17th, 2006, 12:11 am
F-list, HELP!

Bloody Buggering HELL!

Norton anti virus won't STFU!

My subscription has run out, and every ten seconds or so a new "security alert" comes up. Guess what, Norton? I DON'T CARE THAT MY COMPUTER IS AT RISK. YOU are the only thing wrong with my computer!

So, what I'm asking is this:

Does ANYONE know of ANYTHING that MIGHT POSSIBLY HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE of making Norton SHUT UP? Seriously, if this keeps up, I'm going to delete the damn thing.

Actually, I'm starting to believe that it's not possible to kill it. I think it's watching me, and it's preparing to eat my soul and take over my body.

Sat, Feb. 11th, 2006, 01:24 pm

So, two people on my flist have posted one of these within 40 minutes of each other. I've decided to be a trend whore and do the same.


Go on. You know you want to.

Wed, Feb. 8th, 2006, 12:34 am

Get your own spectral analysis from Area 23®

10 most recent